It is advisable to wait at least 6 weeks post birth, to reduce the risk of infection while your womb (uterus) is healing and to allow the tissues to repair, but ultimately it’s up to you.
Everyone is different. There’s no right or wrong time when you should aim to have sex again. The most important thing is to wait until you feel physically and emotionally ready.
Around half of couples start having sex within eight weeks of the birth, however some wait longer and other couples start earlier. There is no right or wrong. About three-quarters of couples have had sex by 12 weeks and nearly all couples have tried sex again by their babies first birthday.
If you’ve had a c-section, or suffered a tear, episiotomy or if you experienced any other problems with your recovery, it’s likely to be a bit longer before you feel ready to start having sex again. Don’t pressure yourself, and give your body a chance to heal.
Even if you’re still breastfeeding or your periods haven’t returned, you can still get pregnant again. So when you are ready to start having sex again, make sure you consider contraception.
For a start, you’re probably feeling exhausted due to lack of sleep and the demands of looking after a new baby. If you’re breastfeeding, changes in your hormones can reduce your desire to have sex, too.
You may be feeling sore or sensitive. If you had a c-section, you will still be recovering from a major operation. Your scar should heal by the time your stitches come out, which might be the time to start thinking about sex again if you want to.
Feeling pain, and having a tight or dry vagina are among the most common worries about sex for new mums. Lubrication is a really good idea and Yes Yes Yes lubrication is a fantastic option!
For most women, any sexual issues get better after a few months. But one in five women continue to have painful sex up to a year and a half after giving birth, so if this happens you’re not alone. A Women’s Health Physiothearpist is the perfect professional for you to see, you can ask your midwife if they can refer you to a local NHS service but this service will vary depending on location. Otherwise look for a private professional the MummyMOT service is excellent and if you are in Cornwall Laura (Ottilie founder and Womens Health Physio) offers a FitMums check at the studio in Newquay.
Communication is key. Talk to each other about how you’re feeling, your partner might feel rejected if you don’t want sex and he does, but you shouldn’t feel pressured before you are ready. Your relationship will definitely benefit from intimacy but this can be words and cuddles until you are both ready.
It probably isn’t just you that is worried, your partner may also feel uncertain about having sex after seeing the birth. He may worry that sex will be painful for you or be unsure about his own feelings. Talk about concerns that either of you have so you can work through it together.
Giving birth is powerful but so am I!
The Positive Birth Company is on a mission to make hypnobirthing accessible for all. We are committed to empowering women around the world – and their birth partners – to create positive birth experiences and supporting women in pregnancy, birth and beyond.
Hypnobirthing is a logical approach to childbirth. The tools and techniques you will learn on a course are hugely beneficial for Mums, birth partners and babies! You will find the relaxation techniques you practice in pregnancy can be used not only for birth but life in general.
At The Positive Birth Company we passionately believe that birth experience matters. Many studies have shown that a positive birth experience has a profound impact on maternal psychological and emotional wellbeing and enables women to embark on motherhood feeling confident, strong and capable. This is why hypnobirthing is for all births; a course will equip you with the skills needed to navigate your birth, whether that be at home, hospital or in theatre, feeling empowered and in control.
The Positive Birth Company was founded by Siobhan Miller in 2014 and now runs group hypnobirthing classes each month in Twickenham, South-West London, Newton Abbot, Devon (for those in Torbay and Exeter), Birmingham and Brighton. For anyone unable to get to a group class there is also the option of the digital pack!
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My name is Siobhan and I’m a mum to three boys. My Hypnobirthing journey began in 2014 when pregnant with my second child. Having had a relatively difficult birth with my first child (lengthy induction and forceps delivery in theatre), I was determined to do what I could to make this birth experience a more positive one. I enrolled on a Hypnobirthing course and attended group classes with my partner. After the first session we were converted to this logical and natural approach to childbirth. Hypnobirthing, contrary to what it sounds like, is grounded in scientific theory and so we came to understand how birth worked from a physiological perspective. Most importantly we learnt what we could do to ensure the necessary cocktail of hormones and muscles required to birth a baby were able to do their job uninhibited.
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The Positive Birth Company Digital Pack is a fully comprehensive online hypnobirthing course, meaning you can access this program of antenatal education whenever and wherever you choose*. The course is designed to ensure you are fully informed, empowered to make the best decisions for you and your baby and armed with practical tools you can use to remain calm and relaxed throughout your birth.
The Positive Birth Company Digital Pack includes 6+ hours of video content, 4 MP3s to download, a course notes booklet in PDF format (created with birth partners in mind), a birth preferences template for you to complete plus access to a private Facebook group where you can get support and advice as well as read and share positive birth stories.
*so long as you have wifi!
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This book is for EVERY woman growing a baby and for EVERY type of birth — from a home water birth through to an unplanned caesarean.
No matter where you sit on the ‘anxious-to-excited’ spectrum at the moment, by the time you finish this book you’ll feel relaxed, capable and genuinely excited about giving birth, because it’s truly the most awesome thing you’ll ever get to do in your life.
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Mind Body Bump- Brit Williams.
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I’m thrilled to announce that my first book – a comprehensive guide to an active, mindful and empowered pregnancy – was published on 2 May 2019 across the UK, US, Canada and Australia. After hitting a wall in my research about a truly safe yet fun and challenging pre-natal fitness programme, I took the reigns myself and decided to show the world that pre-natal exercise is not only extremely beneficial, but it can also be truly enjoyable. The result is Mind, Body, Bump; The Complete Plan for an Active Pregnancy.
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Mind Body Bump
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by Brit Williams
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As well as 20 weight-based and bodyweight workouts spanning the nine months of pregnancy and supporting your post-natal recovery, Mind Body Bump by Brit Williams, offers month-by-month mum and baby development updates, mental health support, nutrition tips and recipes selected for specific pre-natal benefits. Perhaps most importantly, it is written in exclusively pregnancy-positive language, reframing this transformative phase of a woman’s life in the most empowering and supportive means possible.
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What to pack in your hospital bag can be a minefield, if you packed every single thing that someone recommends you take, you would probably need a suitcase big enough for a family of 4!
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When this conversation comes up in my antenatal classes I always recommend packing 2 bags!
One bag for the essentials for a normal straight forward.birth, where you are in hospital for a number of hours but not necessarily over night (as in a night after you give birth) and another one with extra things in case you do need or decide to stay longer.
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If you haven’t already you should definitely check out a really fantastic company called BirthBags, they have created a range of pre packed birth essentials leaving you to focus on choosing your bag.
Take a look at our range of gorgeous Ottilie bags in grey, mint and coral, which have a huge capacity and many useful little features making them perfect not only as a hospital bag but for life with your new arrival!
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In your second bag you can place extra clothes for yourself and baby, extra toiletries, more snacks and anything else you would like with you if you need or decide to stay over night or longer. This bag can be left at home but easily collected and brought to hospital by your other half or a family member needed.
Lastly one very important thing is your babies car seat, you will not be allowed out of hospital without this!
A TENS machine for labour is a safe, effective, drug free pain relief used widely during childbirth..but don’t just take my word for it, here is what other people have said…
“I couldn’t have got through my labour without my TENS machine, I took it off to go into the birth pool and I instantly required gas and air. The pool slowed down my contractions and I wish I had just continued to use the TENS machine.”
“I got from 4cm to fully and pushing with the TENS machine alone”
“I used one from early on in my first labour, I got to 9cm using just that and one paracetamol! It helped me focus by pressing the button at the start of a contraction and just after.”
“Loved mine first time round, good distraction and I felt like I was in control.”
“I used mine from the start of labour. I found it was a good distraction and something else to concentrate on.”
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The machine consists of a battery powered hand held controller, connected by leads to four large flat sticky pads. The machine sends small, safe, pulses of electrical current to your skin giving you a tingling or buzzing sensation. You also have a boost button which you press when you sense each contraction.
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-Electrical pulses prevent pain signals from reaching your brain.
-Pulses stimulate your body to release endorphins (happy hormones).
-It helps you to feel in control and therefore less anxious.
-It offers distraction from your contractions.
New research conducted in Australia found that TENS produces a significant decrease in pain during labour, and postpones the need for pain relief, without affecting your baby.
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It is best to start using your TENS machine early in labour. Get your birth partner to place the pads on your back for you- following the instructions that come with the machine. Moving around during labour helps to make the TENS more effective. Do not give up immediately if you don’t feel anything happening, in some cases it can take up to an hour for you to feel the effects.
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